Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
