onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
