Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
