I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
