I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
