Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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