Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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