im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize