it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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