I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just tell him i said nine months
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
