I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she told me i tasted like america
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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