Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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