were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
