I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize