I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
