So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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