Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
