Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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