soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
