I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
