"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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