marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
