school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
