So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
