at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
