I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
