Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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