I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
