I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
