great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
