I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
