Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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