he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
