WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
