3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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