I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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