maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize