yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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