I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
