I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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