it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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