Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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