You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
