Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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