Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
