If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
