I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
