Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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