Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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