they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
