she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
bring money and cleavage
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
