Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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