When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
