I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize