You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
