Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
