Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
