obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
