No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
