Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
